You sometimes meet “conservatives” in unexpected places

I was at my favorite “gentlemen’s club” the other night (in a western suburb of Chicago), spending a ton of money, as usual, while chatting with the lovely young ladies. This happens to be my favorite way to spend a fun night. It has not yet been criminalized, though give the Dems a chance…They might eventually make it illegal, because they are, after all, the anti-fun and anti-freedom party.

At one point during the night, I was sitting at the bar talking with a sexy black-haired beauty who bore a striking resemblance to New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She had a big pearly smile on her pretty face until I told her that she looked like AOC. Then she became a little angry, informing me that she considered that comparison to be an insult because she did not care for AOC or AOC’s socialist politics. Yes, I was scolded by a stripper over politics!

If you are a typical socially and personally conservative conservative, you probably do not visit strip clubs much or spend a lot of time engaging in conversation with strippers. Well, I am not such a typical kind of conservative. I am conservative only in the sense that I tend to resist change, especially what I consider unnecessary change (such as new technology, new rules and regulations, various other new forms of modern-day bullshit). But socially and personally, I am not conservative. Rather, I am very libertarian—even libertine when it comes to sexual matters. 

My basic outlook is this: You (government, corporations, people in general) don’t tell me what I cannot do or what I have to do, and I don’t give a shit about whatever you do, as long as what you do does not adversely affect me. If what you do does adversely affect me, I will get pissed off about it and fight back. I consider myself free to do whatever I want to do whenever and wherever and however I want to do it. And in my freethinking libertine pursuits, unbounded by any kind of religious or political dogma, I especially enjoy breaking through sexual and gender boundaries. 

Strip clubs are my favorite sites for sexual exploration and enjoyment. They can be expensive, but they are still cheaper than hiring escorts, and the results give much more immediate gratification than hanging out inside singles bars. Furthermore, my experiences in strip clubs often lead to valuable insights and revelations of one kind or another. And I also consider the clubs to be a great form of psychological therapy.

If you are a regular-type conservative, you will surely be surprised to learn that many strippers are politically conservative. But think about it… The main priority for a typical stripper is flaunting her sexuality and using her wiles to make a lot of money. It’s all about freedom and profit. These are inherently conservative/libertarian values. If the Leftists had their way, these girls would probably not be allowed to flirt with the men in the clubs, or vice versa, because it would be considered indicative of systemic cultural sexism, racism, and white heterodominance. (Hey, I know that doesn’t exactly make sense, but nothing makes sense anymore, and the more illogical something is, the more likely it is to happen.) Moreover, the Lefties would probably confiscate at least 60 percent of the girls’ lap dance fees and stage tips in taxes. That’s why strippers hate socialists.

So, back to the other night and my conversation with the AOC lookalike…

After she scolded me, she went on to say that she was half black and half Hispanic, and she gets tired of people always assuming that blacks and Hispanics are Democrats. She added that she hated Democrats, socialists, and Biden, and she loved Trump and the MAGA movement.

She also said that she hated masks, and she would never get the damn vaccine. She noted that a number of girls at the club had gotten COVID, but it was no big deal for these young women because they quickly recovered with no ill effects. They had had way worse symptoms from the cold and flu in the past than from the China virus.

That’s another reason that I love this strip club—in addition to fulfilling my sexual fantasies. They do not enforce the damn mask mandates of Illinois or Cook County, and they don’t give a crap about your vaccine status. The club is a little bastion of genuine American freedom in a geographic region controlled by un-American fascist authoritarians. Nobody in the club wears a mask, except a handful of the girls who happen to choose to do so. That’s the way it should be. Freedom of personal choice! What a strange concept these days, right?

If all the girls in the club were wearing masks, I would not go to it. I want to see the pretty faces of the dancers, as well as their sexy bodies. It’s all part of the same sexy fantasy package. I’m sure that the club managers know this, and they are not going to lose customers over a stupid government mandate. It probably helps that the club owners are Italian Mafioso types who have cultivated good relations with the local police (whom I’ve always suspected get a few free special services from the girls in exchange for allowing certain not-exactly-legal activities to take place inside the club).

I had a nice conversation with the AOC lookalike at the bar, and I bought her a drink or two. I didn’t want a lap dance from her, because she wasn’t really my type. As long as I’m spending money ($30 per three-minute dance), I want to pay for my type. My type is usually blonde. After AOC left my side to hunt for more lucrative opportunities in the club, my type sat down next to me. Sexy girl with long blonde hair and bangs, amazing face and figure, tight lacy see-through pink minidress, fishnet thigh-high stockings, and seven-inch stiletto heels that were styled to look like guns! She said her name was Brittany.

Brittany and I spent more than four hours together that night, going back and forth from the bar to the lap-dance room to a private table on the floor. We did not discuss politics. I gave her a lot of money. She made me feel very happy.

Ah yes—the timeless pursuit of happiness in a special little outpost of freedom in an increasingly non-free United States of America in late 2021. I think Thomas Jefferson would approve—and probably want to join in the fun. But Benjamin Franklin would probably get all the best chicks!

strip club pole dancer by is licensed under