The Department of Justice is now pulling out all the stops to hire attorneys and staff who are dwarfs or who have psychiatric disabilities or severe intellectual disabilities." This includes people with schizophrenia.
Step right up folks! We have here behind these mysterious walls curiosities to amaze and astound. See the lawyer with anger issues wholl scream at the court like Sam Kinison and then put a take-down move on the bailiff. See the attorney wholl sue on your behalf because American Airlines didnt hire your legally blind self as a jumbo-jet pilot and then become the judge when in court and rule in your favor. See the voting-rights attorney who can divine guilt or innocence based solely on skin color! Its all here for a measly $28.2 billion a year.
What this is all about is a story right out of the You Just Cant Make This Stuff Up file. The Department of Justice is now pulling out all the stops to hire writes PJ Tatler attorneys and staff who are dwarfs or who have psychiatric disabilities or severe intellectual disabilities." This includes people with schizophrenia (as if the liberalism afflicting DOJ employees isnt enough mental disorder for one person). Welcome to One Flew Over the Shysters Nest.
And theres more. These targeted disability" hires can self-identify" their disability. Moreover they wont have to compete with other civil-service applicants but rather can be hired before a position is advertised or prior to its closing date and they also can receive a special dispensation from the requirement that new DOJ attorneys have a year of practicing law under their belt. Heck its even rumored that these quota hires wont have to know there are 50 states how to spell Ohio how to pronounce corpsman" or what state or century youre in when giving a speech. (Okay that last line was a joke. With a story this ridiculous people may confuse fact with fiction unless thats pointed out.)
Whats responsible for a policy so unfathomable? Some may figure itll allow the matching of Attorney General Eric Holder with the right employee so the DOJ can finally have a complete idiot. Perhaps though Holder is merely using a variation on a technique Rodney Dangerfield articulated in Back to School." To wit: if you want to look thin surround yourself with fat people. No chance of being outshone by your psyche-ward underlings huh Eric the Red?
Anyway Holder is fit to be the top dog in his asylum. I mean hes not disabledhes differently abled! Who else can play a voting-rights shell game where states get sued for requiring voter I.D. menacing Black Panthers get off for intimidating voters and residents of a New York town get six votes each so as to increase minority representation? Watch the cups now! Wheres the fairness? Nope wrong again! So now you stand over there with the militaryno vote for you!
This policy is a modern-college try at bringing radical egalitarianism to full flower and its a good example of why Ive often said that those advocating such things have equality on the brain. Yet this is predicated on the assumption that gray matter is extant at the DOJ. This notion is thrown into question for many reasons not the least of which is that the DOJ sideshow barkers omitted from their list the tattooed live-animal-eating geek the bearded lady and the microcephalic. Although the DOJ certainly does seem to have an abundance of pinheads.
If youre wondering about my tone no I dont really think this is a joke. Its just a situation where if you dont laugh youll cry. And all I can say is beam me up Scotty. You may be going where no man has gone before but it cant possibly be any weirder than this place is becoming.