
Why did mainstream America come to accept marriage equality? Gay leaders had made a convincing case that gay families were like straight families and should have the same rights. … On the last page of Redeeming the Dream we are told that Americans are accepting gays and lesbians…as normal loving decent members of our lives and our communities." I shouldnt quibble but as a gay man in his seventies I dont quite recognize in that description most of the flamboyant creative edgy promiscuous deeply urban gays I have known. Kenji Yoshino a law professor wrote a book called Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights in which covering" is seen as downplaying a discordant trait in order to blend into the mainstream. It seems to me that gays are in danger of covering" in order to obtain the permission to marry. Perhaps thats a small enough price. I cant decide.Admonitions (and stronger admonitions from those who have decided) come from the not-inconsiderable faction of gay culture styled as anti-heteronormative" or anti-assimilationist." The admonitions of many anti-heteronormative gays are oddly complementary to those of many pro-heteronormative traditionalists. Both are skeptical about same sex marriage for kindred reasons. It may be that heteronormativity" rather than gay marriage is the most salient cultural issue at issue. The stakes could not be higher. As public intellectual Rod Dreher perceptively analyzed in The American Conservative Sex After Christianity: Gay marriage is not just a social revolution but a cosmological one."
Conservative Christians have lost the fight over gay marriage and as we have seen did so decades before anyone even thought same-sex marriage was a possibility. Gay-marriage proponents succeeded so quickly because they showed the public that what they were fighting for was consonant with what most post-1960s Americans already believed about the meaning of sex and marriage. The question Western Christians face now is whether or not they are going to lose Christianity altogether in this new dispensation. Too many of them think that same-sex marriage is merely a question of sexual ethics. They fail to see that gay marriage and the concomitant collapse of marriage among poor and working-class heterosexuals makes perfect sense given the autonomous individualism sacralized by modernity and embraced by contemporary cultureindeed by many who call themselves Christians. They dont grasp that Christianity properly understood is not a moralistic therapeutic adjunct to bourgeois individualisma common response among American Christians one denounced by Rieff in 2005 as simply pathetic"but is radically opposed to the cultural order (or disorder) that reigns today.This is a much more profound and complex issue than many progressives wish to acknowledge. Extending their narrative beyond gay marriage too many progressive journalists connive in political accusations by Democrats that Republicans are seeking to eliminate or materially restrict artificial contraception. It is a severe distortion to claim that a conscientious political objection to subsidizing a form of contraception deemed by people of orthodox faith sinful has any equivalence to the prohibition of artificial contraception. While there are many calculated claims to this effect there is a curious shortage of hard evidence of Republican candidates seeking to meaningfully inhibit the sale of artificial contraceptives. Snopes call your office. Furthermore the New York Times engages in at best a sly glossing over of the real abortion issue. On some divisive issues" writes theTimes like abortion attitudes have not shifted much; sonograms and advances in medical treatment have increased the discomfiture of some Americans with the procedure. Part of Republicans defensive crouch on social issues pollster Whit Ayres noted reflects the fact that Democrats have done a better job with campaign communications." A better job? Ill say. The Times does more to hide than highlight the fact that according to Gallup in 2011 86 of voters believe that abortion should be illegal" in the last trimester only 10 believing it should be legal. Describing this merely as increased … discomfiture of some Americans with the procedure" really is misleading if not outright deceptive. Sen. Mark Udall the New York Times reports accuses his opponent GOP Rep. Cory Gardner of a radical agenda" on abortion. But Udall has the endorsement of NARAL whose position opposes the one held by 86 of the voters … that abortion should be illegal in the last trimester. Who exactly has the radical agenda" here? The GOP has a problem which it has allowed to engulf it. It has an opportunity which it is allowing to elude it. It is entirely possible to be anti-gay marriage without being in the least a homophobic …and without stigmatizing gays. As Pope Francis famously said about gay (and presumably celibate) priests If someone is gay and he searches for the Lord and has good will who am I to judge?") On marriage both the religiously orthodox and the gay anti-assimilationist advocates (both politically marginalized groups) hold that gay is … different. The orthodox fear that same sex marriage will deform the standard cultural model of marriage. A representative anti-assimilationist fears that As the standard cultural model of marriage and family expand to fit more of us we need to remember that it still doesnt fit all of us." It is entirely possible to be intensely sex-positive without being required to embrace artificial contraception. The Family Research Council reported last year its findings that devout married Catholics have the best sex of any demographic group…." Can the word marriage bear the weight of two inconsistent connotations and still retain a coherent meaning? If not will the orthodox definition or a more cosmopolitan one in the end prevail? This question is the likely next cultural battleground. If the orthodox advocate for their position no more effectively than they yet have expect marriage to assume as normative a new and dramatically different connotation. There are ways for the Republican Party to confront the social issues" in ways that do not betray the component of its base that Pew calls steadfast conservatives" nor alienate other Republican-leaning or independent demographics. If the GOP wishes to reestablish its relevance beyond pocketbook issues it has only but has to firmly grasp the paradox of the social issues confronting America. By grasping the paradox the GOP can seize an opportunity to up its game with campaign communications" by demonstrating how the views of steadfast conservatives and libertarians are best calculated to serve Americas core values of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness.