GO AWAY IN MAY & START INVESTING AGAIN ON LABOR DAY ... SAFETY FIRST

And a happy Gitmo Sell-Out By Americas Most Inept President In History Day" to all readers. This morning Id like to put on my investor adviser hat (https://twitter.com/MurraySoupcoff) and talk about what is probably the second most interesting topic after Judge Jeanine Pirros Saturday night suggestion that Barack Obama should be IMPEACHED  (http://beforeitsnews.com/obama/2014/05/judge-jeanine-unleashed-impeach-obama-2463070.html) Now theres one judge who makes sense! Anyway where was I before I referenced impeaching Americas community-organizer-in-chief? Oh yes what I hope to do this morning is to offer some timely investment advice. In my opinion U.S. stock indices appear to be rangebound" regularly rising & then falling again enough to make any investor sea sick. So per usual Ive been looking for reliable income & growth stocks to allow any non-professional investor to sleep at night thru these market vacillations. Ive done my due diligence; and heres my PERSONAL choices (with of course NO guarantees -- except that Ive done my very best  to find the best selections for myself & Intellectual Conservative" readers). And so in no order of priority here I go: And because Im an energy stock-sector enthusiast many of my choices are meant to benefit from current record U.S. & European oil & natural gas prices. ENERGY STOCK BONANZA And now heres my first selection in this category (drum roll please): ENERGY TRANSFER PARTNERS MLP ($ETP) yielding 6.58 annually This dividend monster (a Master Limited Partnership) recently reported adjusted earnings of $1.21 billion an increase of $250 million from the same period last year. Not only that but revenues from continuing operations were $467 million (a pretty good haul in my opinion). And thats an increase of $65 million from last year (also very impressive). AND distributable cash flow (via dividend payments) totaled $629 million up $253 million from 2013. To me this MLP looks like a reliable generator of tasty cash dividends (6.58 annually) for the next couple of years.  Try it; I think youll like it! ANOTHER DRUM ROLL PLEASE And now to energy choice #2: And here is one of my very favorite oil/gas shale energy companies: Please step up to the podium ENERPLUS CORPORATION ($ERF; $ERF.CA) yielding 4.39 annually. This companys able management has already predicted that its 2014 production and net profits will likely come in at the HIGH END of managements previous forecast . And thats because of soaring production & revenues from its extensive Marcellus (shale) land holdings -- rich in both oil & natural gas deposits. And why is that factoid important? Well since I expect todays record prices for oil & natural gas to continue until at least 2018 Enerplus -- in my opinion -- is a safe and (likely) profitable energy investment for the next several years. TIME TO LOOK AT ONE OF THE BIG BOYS OF THE ENERGY INDUSTRY And now let forget about all of the previous energy-company shrimps. Instead lets look at one of the biggest of the biggest global energy giants: Please step up to the plate KINDER MORGAN ENERGY ($KMP) yielding 5.4 annually The good news is that KMP plans to invest $671 million to expand its VERY PROFITABLE Cortez pipeline which transports carbon dioxide from Colorado to New Mexico for use in enhanced oil-recovery projects. Not only that but management recently also announced excellent first-quarter results. In particular net income totaled $12.1 million ($0.79 per diluted share) compared to $14 million ($0.91) in 2013. And KMPs companys direct written premiums increased 3.8 for the quarter. To be honest I dont understand a word of the preceding energy-industry jargon (about direct written premiums") except that its evidently a very good thing. MY CONCLUSION ABOUT KINDER MORGAN  Based on all of the above indicators heres my take on Kinder Morgan Energy: In my prejudiced opinion this is another reliable energy-stock generator of healthy dividends (5.4 annually); and also a stock-market investment with great future capital-gain prospects. HOW ABOUT SOME VARIETY HERE ... AFTER ALL ACCORDING TO PROGRESSIVE LIBERALS DIVERSITY IS THE NAME OF THE GAME But now for some variety lets look at two non-energy choices: So first lets go shopping and peruse: SUPER VALU ($SVU) currently paying NO dividend. Super Valu recently pleased retail analysts with its results for its fiscal fourth quarter: For example net sales hit $3.95 billion; and net earnings came in at $26 million very impressive numbers. And more debt was reduced through the sell-off of some of Super Valus redundant assets. In my opinion the preceding good news indicates that this is a retail stock with a great future with regard to capital gains (although it pays no annual dividend). YOU JUST CANT GO WRONG WITH THE GENERAL (IN THIS CASE GENERAL ELECTRIC) And finally lets look at one of the best-branded stocks on U.S. markets: After all who wouldnt recognize the GE (General Electric) logo? So lets open the proverbial investment refrigerator door and take a look: And another really really big drum roll is justified for this international investment giant ... GENERAL ELECTRIC COMPANY ($GE) yielding 3.24 annually. This is a diversified global giant for which there seems to be no investment sector in which it currently doesnt dabble". And in that regard GE has just announced a partnership between its healthcare division and Tesla Engineering: The two companies will collaborate on the development of a new whole-body magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanner and on additional other profitable hi-tek projects. Hence in my opinion this another excellent bet on capital gains -- accompanied by a sustainable 3.4 annual dividend payout -- for the next several years. And by a sustainable annual dividend I mean that GE rakes in so much cash annually it will have no problem paying its dividend -- regardless of normal global economic fluctuations. Phew!  Well  its good to get all of the preceding investment advice" off my chest. But truth be told even I find it boring in comparison to Judge Jeanines Saturday night suggestion that Barack Obama should be IMPEACHED. My personal political advice? Vote Republican in November and let the impeachment proceedings begin! Murray Soupcoff is editor and co-author of Good Buy Canada" and author of Canada 1984". He was a founding member (and senior partner) of Ian Sone & Associates Ltd Canadas first independent social-research company specializing in evaluations of federal provincial & municipal government projects in Canada. He is also the publisher of the FREE Soupcoff Report" investment newsletter whose distribution is partly subsidized by paid subscriptions from former research clients. You can e-mail Murray Soupcoff at: [email protected]        
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