My challenge for the reader: Should this essay be taken satirically or literally? I challenge you to be able to distinguish the difference in these strange days. I’m not sure myself.
If the numerous public opinion polls about the November 2020 election—and my deeply ingrained natural pessimism—are correct, there are only about four more months of freedom and individual liberty remaining in the United States of America (counting from mid-September). Two hundred and forty-four years of American liberty will essentially come crashing to an end on Wednesday, January 20, 2021. That’s when an old, weak, confused man with obvious dementia—Joseph Robinette (yes, that is really his middle name) Biden Jr—will be sworn into office as the forty-sixth president of the United States. It is also when Kamala Devi (short for devil?) Harris—who had been one of the most left-wing U.S. senators—will be sworn in as vice president.
The administration of this weird pair will be sure to enact the most left-wing, socialistic, communistic, oppressive, anti-liberty, anti-Constitution agenda in American history. And they will do it fast. Biden is an empty vessel through which the most radical Marxist America-hating elements of the Democrat Party (from AOC and Omar to BLM and Antifa) will easily push through their most insane policies for expanding government power, oppressing the common people, and eliminating whatever remains of American exceptionalism. This task will be sensationally simple to accomplish, considering that both houses of Congress are also likely to be controlled by Democrats. And, of course, the new radical leaders will have the full support of the mass media, social media, pop culture, the education system, the court system, the newly “woke” corporations, and much of the (sadly brainwashed) public. Pity the poor, doomed dissenters—like you and me.
To make matters worse, this situation will probably be made permanent. The Democrats will rapidly proceed to build a permanent one-party autocracy through several bold and brash strategies. These strategies will include the creation of a number of new Democrat-controlled states (District of Columbia [name change required], Puerto Rico, division of California); voting rights for illegal aliens; lowering of the voting age to 16 or younger; elimination of the Electoral College; and expansion and packing-with-leftists of the Supreme Court. All of these intentions have already been proudly proclaimed by party leaders. If the Democrats sweep the 2020 elections, these things will happen without a doubt.
With no meaningful opposition, the Democrats will surely convert America into an autocratic one-party Marxist tyranny. And you will have to live in this not-free America and deal with the fallout, because you will not have any choices—unless you bravely choose to participate in an armed rebellion against the tyranny, or you despondently choose to abandon the country and move to some other nation that may be at least slightly less insane than the new Marxist America.
And now, for something completely different
I hope like hell that the depressing polls—and my damn persistent pessimism—are wrong. But let us assume, for the sake of this discussion, that they are correct. What might life be like in the new tyrannical Marxist America? We might as well say, “And now, for something completely different.” There is going to be a shocking, horrific new reality in America—that is for sure. The details of this new reality are uncertain at this point, but we can make some educated guesses about the probable general developments, based on what the Democrats and their thuggish allies have actually promised to do. These educated guesses are further based on the inevitably cruel way in which socialism/communism/fascism (all essentially the same thing) plays out once it has gained power—as in the Soviet Union, Nazi Germany, China, North Korea, Cuba, Venezuela, etc.
Following are just a few (13, to be precise) of the many terrible things that you are probably going to have to get used to during the first four years of a Biden/Harris (or, after Biden is sent to the nursing home, Harris/whoever) administration. As I indicate in my opening “challenge” in this essay, these points may seem like unrealistic parody or silly satire. But just a few years ago, gay marriage, transgender bathrooms, wearing face masks, shutting down the economy for no reason, knocking down statues of Washington and Lincoln, forcing cops to let looters loot and rioters riot, playing sports in empty stadiums, and kneeling for the national anthem would have seemed silly and crazy too. But those things have all happened! The Democrats specialize at turning ridiculous, laughable satire into unfortunate, tragic reality. It’s almost as if the guys in Monty Python’s Flying Circus were writing the script for the future some fifty years ago in their farcical skits: “And the candidates for the Very Silly Party are Slow Joe and Fast Hoe…”
Thirteen not-funny things that could happen
1) Under Biden/Harris, laws will require that you wear a face mask, eye goggles/face shield, and gloves anytime you walk out the door of your home—regardless of whether you are sitting alone in your backyard, driving in your car, or shopping in a store. If you have guests to your home, you will all have to wear the protective gear even inside. Special authorized COVID goon squads will patrol the streets and make surprise in-home inspections to apprehend any violators. Steep fines and long jails terms will be the main punishments. Alternatively, repeat violators could be confined to the inside of their homes for several months and forced to wear beeping ankle monitors and to make regular video reports to authorities. Goon squad officials will periodically visit the violators in order to intimidate them and beat them with sticks. These rules will remain in effect for the foreseeable future, with no end in sight—in the name of public safety—regardless of any scientific facts about the coronavirus or the availability of any vaccine. The government will never give up the virus as the most fabulously successful form of social control ever developed. Such a marvelous gift from China!
2) Businesses will not be allowed to open unless they adhere to several federal laws that will be rigidly enforced by members of the COVID goon squads, who will be on constant patrol inside and outside the businesses. All employees will have to wear face masks, goggles/face shields, and gloves at all times, as will all customers. In addition, hand sanitizer will have to be applied to the gloves upon entry into the business and at least every ten minutes while inside the business. Standing or moving within six feet of another person will result in immediate expulsion from the business (if a customer) or firing (if an employee). If items must be passed from one person to another, they must be left on a sanitized table by the first person for pick-up by the second person after the first person has moved six feet away from the second person. Businesses that violate these laws will be promptly shut down. These rules will remain in effect for the foreseeable future, with no end in sight—in the name of public safety—regardless of any scientific facts about the coronavirus or the availability of any vaccine. The idea is to keep the economy wrecked with crippled businesses so that as many people as possible are totally dependent on the government for sustenance.
3) Each and every American will be forced to undergo a swab test for the coronavirus once a month, via a home visit from a medical member of the goon squad. A positive finding will restrict the individual to the inside of his or her home for at least three months, with regular monitoring by medical personnel for signs of disease—no exceptions allowed. If the person is unable to go to work, buy food, or get toilet paper during this time, well, that is just too damn bad. That’ll teach you to wear your mask and social distance!
4) All white Americans will be forced to pay reparations for slavery to black Americans. All people will have to take genetic tests to determine their complete ethnic/racial heritage. You will have to, at all times, carry an electronic card containing the results of the genetic test. Whether one pays or receives reparations, and the amount of those reparations, will be based on your genetic makeup. Whether or not your ancestors actually owned slaves—or even whether or not they lived in the United States during the time of slavery—will be considered irrelevant factors. Also irrelevant will be how rich or poor you are. All that will matter is how white or black you are determined to be. Poor white people will have to pay reparations to rich black people. (Financially successful people of Asian ethnicities may be designated as “honorary whites” and, therefore, penalized—for purposes of social justice. Some Hispanic/Latinx people, Arab Muslims, non-black LGBTQ+ people, and committed leftist white women may be designated as “honorary blacks” and, therefore, awarded compensation—again for purposes of social justice.) If you are white, the federal government will automatically deduct the reparations from your savings account—or you will be invoiced—once per month until you have fully paid your designated debt. The payments will be distributed to black (or “honorary black”) people via checks or electronic deposits. Any white person who is unable to afford the payments will be sentenced to perform a certain number of hours of community service work in a black community.
5) All athletes on all professional sports teams will be required to wear jerseys featuring, instead of their last names on the back, the phrase “WHITE PEOPLE SUCK,” in bold capital letters, on the back. The team that has the larger number of black athletes will automatically start the game with a certain extra number of points, runs, or whatever.
6) BLM/Antifa will be given its own official department within the federal government and a seat in the White House cabinet. That cabinet member (the “secretary of racial justice”) will be third in line for presidential succession, replacing the president pro tempore of the Senate, just in front of the secretary of state. (Needless to say, the “racist” name of the White House will have to be changed—perhaps to Rainbow House? And then maybe it could be repainted in the LGBTQ+ flag colors? We will have to wait and see.)
7) Federal agents will visit your home to confiscate any and all firearms that you own—unless you belong to a preferred minority group (black, Hispanic/Latinx, Muslim, LGBTQ+, Marxist female) and can make a valid case that you need the guns to protect yourself against racist police brutality. Each black (or “honorary black”) person will be legally allowed to randomly shoot and kill two white police officers every year, to advance the cause of social justice. When a city or county runs out of white police officers (in the depleted, defunded police departments), black people will be able to apply for a special permit to shoot and kill any white person of their choosing. The shooters will be required to forward the videos of the shootings/killings to the appropriate government agency in order to show that they met their permit quotas for the year. The agency will then publish these “righteous kill” videos on a YouTube channel for the public’s entertainment and cultural enrichment.
8) Looting of private businesses by members of preferred minority communities will be legally allowed on several predesignated nights each year, as will the destruction of any statues or other public monuments deemed to be offensive to the minority communities. These minority communities must first be officially designated as “victims of systemic racism and/or oppression.” Local government leaders will be expected to encourage this looting and destruction as a way to alleviate social tension, advance social justice, and redistribute wealth. (For purposes of wealth redistribution, many black-owned business will be just as open to looting as white-owned businesses. That’s because the radicals who will be running the government will consider financially successful black people to be equivalent in their “guilt” to whites, especially if the black business owners are suspected of holding conservative views.)
9) The income tax rate on “wealthy” individuals (defined as an income over $150,000) and on most private businesses will be raised to 90% or higher. Taxes on middle-level incomes (around $50,000) will mostly be in the range of 50% to 70%. Available tax deductions and “loopholes” will be rare. But individuals and companies may be able to get some tax deductions based on their level of “wokeness,” as determined by their answers to a series of questions in Zoom interviews with IRS agents.
10) All companies will be required to incorporate propagandistic “woke” training into monthly employee meetings, which will be monitored by government agents. Each employee will have to pass a test afterward. Two consecutive failures will result in dismissal from employment and the mandatory display of a scarlet “failure/unenlightened” (“F/U”) mark on future resumes and job applications.
11) All Americans will be required to pass annual “green tests” on environmental/climate change issues, combined with some questions on social justice issues. Failure will result in mandatory re-education classes. Repeated failures may mean fines or jail. In addition, Americans will be required to have only “environmentally smart” appliances in their homes, and their vehicles will also have to meet tough environmental standards. Government agents will conduct regular inspections of homes and vehicles. Violations may result in the loss of homes and the confiscation of vehicles.
12) The social media accounts of any individual or organization deemed to be a “right-wing danger to society” will be permanently banned, and the individual or organization may be subject to criminal prosecution. Internet sites, radio stations, and television stations will have to obey strict political guidelines regarding their content, or they will be shut down. Many influential conservative media personalities (such as Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, Sean Hannity, and Tucker Carlson) will be officially designated as “purveyors of hate.” Their programs will be made illegal, and they will be subject to prosecution for crimes against the state. Prominent black conservatives (such as Candace Owens and Larry Elder) will be subject to the harshest punishments, in order to serve as “examples” for “the community.” The lesson will be clear: If you are in any position of public influence, you will be obedient to, and compliant with, the official government agenda—or else!
13) Former President Trump, his two eldest sons, his eldest daughter and son-in-law, and numerous associates from his presidential administration and private businesses will be found guilty of various crimes, including treason. They will all be sentenced to life terms in maximum-security federal prisons, where they will be regularly punished with physical torture. These torture sessions will be made into a popular series on MSNBC (hosted by a joyfully giddy Rachel Maddow), boosting the ratings of that struggling cable network. In addition, all of the financial holdings of these persecuted people will be confiscated by the state. Anyone voicing support or sympathy for them will meet a similar fate.
Will the parrot be pining or passed on?
I know that the above points seem crazy, but they could possibly happen, right? In these bizarre, Twilight-Zone times, anything could be possible—the more insane, the more likely. Even if you think I exaggerate, you should at least be able to agree that if the Democrats sweep in November, we are currently in our final months of freedom and liberty in America. You must realize that the radical leftists are going to do a lot of evil, insane things.
So my initial question for you remains: Should this essay be taken satirically or literally? Contact me sometime in 2021 and give me your retrospective answer.
Of course, if the polls and my pessimism prove to be wrong—and Trump manages to win in November 2020—then we won’t yet know the answer to my question. At least, not for four more years.
I’m afraid that the deranged lunatics of the Very Silly (Democrat/BLM/Antifa) Party will not stop until they win everything. And they will not be satisfied until they can proudly brag that America is like that unfortunate bird in the famous Monty Python skit— “It’s not pining, it’s passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It’s expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot! It’s a stiff! … It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir invisible. This is an ex-parrot!”
About the author:
A. J. Smuskiewicz is a freelance writer specializing in science, medicine, history, current events, and cultural issues. He can be contacted at: email@example.com. His website is at: https://www.ajsmuskiewicz.com.