As widely reported Phil Robertson the patriarch in A&Es breakaway hit Duck Dynasty" recently ran a-fowl of homosexual pressure groups ruffling progressive" feathers throughout concentrated pockets of deep blue America. He remains suspended indefinitely" for candidly summarizing in a recent interview with GQ Magazine the millennia-long Love the sinner hate the sin" biblical stance on homosexual practice.
It seems like to me a vagina as a man would be more desirable than a mans anus. Thats just me" he bluntly opined. Im just thinking: Theres more there! Shes got more to offer. I mean come on dudes!"
Dudes worldwide save self-styled gays" Pajama Boy and a few liberal men actually rumored to be heterosexual responded: Eww! I know right."
You know what Im saying?" continued Robertson. But hey sin: Its not logical my man. Its just not logical" he noted.
Robertson also addressed other sins paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: Neither the adulterers the idolaters the male prostitutes the homosexual offenders the greedy the drunkards the slanderers the swindlers they wont inherit the kingdom of God. Dont deceive yourself. Its not right."
I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me" he later added. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him I love all of humanity."
Barring a handful of progressive" revisionists Christian theologians have since observed that while Robertsons position on sexual sin is 100 percent biblically morally and biologically correct it is nonetheless precisely 0 percent politically correct.
Furthermore Robertson seems to have been quoting directly from the rare though accurate Louisiana Revised Standard Living Translation."
Stand with Phil Robertson and demand an apology from A&E this petition will be delivered directly to the network
Even so the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) was outraged. GLAAD spokesman Francis Twinklebean offered a scathing though typically insightful analysis of Robertsons opinion: Quack quack quack bigot" said Twinklebean. Quack quack vile quack intolerance quack quack homophobia quack" he added finally demanding: A&E must fire Phil Robertson."
The gay"-activist Human Rights Campaign (HRC) was no less distressed as evidenced by HRC mouthpiece Randy Van Grindr: The First Amendment? Thats so 1776" he said. This is 2013. Speech isnt free you know. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Give us our pound of flesh! A&E must fire Phil Robertson."
A&E which had already begun censoring the casts Christian speech with fake bleeps to cover words like Jesus" and Christ" dutifully complied. Were just sick of all this redneck Jesusy stuff" A&E representative Moe Ronic told reporters. And besides making truckloads of money is really overrated" he added referencing the shows No. 1 all-time ranking.
In fact" he continued just the other day I was sharing an Appletini with Bob our program director and he was pining for the good ol days back when we had ratings like MSNBCs Winter Solstice Generic Holiday Special.
You know more money means more work what with the bookkeeping and all" he pointed out. Most of us at A&E are actually quite excited to get back to the utter irrelevance and obscurity from whence we came."
Meanwhile the Fox Network and a bevy of cable channels have reportedly lined up with drool bibs to pounce on the show should relations with A&E go deeper south.
A Fox source offered comment on condition of anonymity: Remember that time someone disagreed with Christianity and got fired?" he asked. Me neither. A&E needs the Robertsons more than they need A&E."
Still questions remained as to whos got it right on homosexuality; GLAAD HRC and other progressives" or Phil Robertson and Christianity. To get answers we went straight to the Source: God Author of all truth sovereign Creator of the universe and Maker of mankind.
God said to relax. The issue has been long settled.
All sexual sin adultery fornication bestiality incest and yes the practice of homosexuality is contrary to sound doctrine" He noted unequivocally (1 Timothy 1:10). Guys when I said You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination I meant it" He added (Leviticus 18:22).
The Creator then offered an urgent admonition to GLAAD HRC and others living under both sexual deception and the unrepentant homosexual lifestyle. He warned that unnatural behaviors beget natural consequences: Because of this I gave you over to shameful lusts. Even you ladies exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way you fellas also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Youve committed shameful acts with other men and have received in yourselves the due penalty for your error" (Romans 1:26-27).
Still being both wholly righteous and merciful beyond measure The Heavenly Father then offered hope for homosexuals as well as for every other sinner on the planet (that would be all of us). He was quick to point out that no one person is better than another and that He loves us all not because of our sins to include the intrinsically disordered" homosexual identity and lifestyle but in spite of them. None is righteous no not one" He said (Romans 3:10).
Show your support of Duck Commander Phil with this brand new bumper sticker!
We are all lost and in need of the Savior He further urged (especially yours truly) saying with specific reference to homosexuality adultery and other forms of sexual immorality: And such were some of you. But you were washed you were sanctified you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by My Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:11).
As untold thousands likely millions of former homosexuals will attest through the unmatched grace of Christ there can be freedom from all forms of bondage to sin even LGBT" behavior.
Meanwhile since the Duck flap hit Jesus Himself has reportedly reached out to Phil Robertson with a Word of encouragement. He told him to keep fishing for souls and hunting for ducks. He said that Robertson shouldnt sweat the small stuff like the ongoing assault for speaking truth in love.
Phil" He said You will be hated by everyone because of me but if you stand firm to the end you will be saved" (Matthew 10:22).
Oh and by the way" Jesus added: Well done my good and faithful servant."
As widely reported Phil Robertson the patriarch in A&Es breakaway hit Duck Dynasty" recently ran a-fowl of homosexual pressure groups ruffling progressive" feathers throughout concentrated pockets of deep blue America. He remains suspended indefinitely" for candidly summarizing in a recent interview with GQ Magazine the millennia-long Love the sinner hate the sin" biblical stance on homosexual practice.
It seems like to me a vagina as a man would be more desirable than a mans anus. Thats just me" he bluntly opined. Im just thinking: Theres more there! Shes got more to offer. I mean come on dudes!"
Dudes worldwide save self-styled gays" Pajama Boy and a few liberal men actually rumored to be heterosexual responded: Eww! I know right."
You know what Im saying?" continued Robertson. But hey sin: Its not logical my man. Its just not logical" he noted.
Robertson also addressed other sins paraphrasing 1 Corinthians 6:9-10: Neither the adulterers the idolaters the male prostitutes the homosexual offenders the greedy the drunkards the slanderers the swindlers they wont inherit the kingdom of God. Dont deceive yourself. Its not right."
I would never treat anyone with disrespect just because they are different from me" he later added. We are all created by the Almighty and like Him I love all of humanity."
Barring a handful of progressive" revisionists Christian theologians have since observed that while Robertsons position on sexual sin is 100 percent biblically morally and biologically correct it is nonetheless precisely 0 percent politically correct.
Furthermore Robertson seems to have been quoting directly from the rare though accurate Louisiana Revised Standard Living Translation."
Stand with Phil Robertson and demand an apology from A&E this petition will be delivered directly to the network
Even so the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) was outraged. GLAAD spokesman Francis Twinklebean offered a scathing though typically insightful analysis of Robertsons opinion: Quack quack quack bigot" said Twinklebean. Quack quack vile quack intolerance quack quack homophobia quack" he added finally demanding: A&E must fire Phil Robertson."
The gay"-activist Human Rights Campaign (HRC) was no less distressed as evidenced by HRC mouthpiece Randy Van Grindr: The First Amendment? Thats so 1776" he said. This is 2013. Speech isnt free you know. Intolerance will not be tolerated. Give us our pound of flesh! A&E must fire Phil Robertson."
A&E which had already begun censoring the casts Christian speech with fake bleeps to cover words like Jesus" and Christ" dutifully complied. Were just sick of all this redneck Jesusy stuff" A&E representative Moe Ronic told reporters. And besides making truckloads of money is really overrated" he added referencing the shows No. 1 all-time ranking.
In fact" he continued just the other day I was sharing an Appletini with Bob our program director and he was pining for the good ol days back when we had ratings like MSNBCs Winter Solstice Generic Holiday Special.
You know more money means more work what with the bookkeeping and all" he pointed out. Most of us at A&E are actually quite excited to get back to the utter irrelevance and obscurity from whence we came."
Meanwhile the Fox Network and a bevy of cable channels have reportedly lined up with drool bibs to pounce on the show should relations with A&E go deeper south.
A Fox source offered comment on condition of anonymity: Remember that time someone disagreed with Christianity and got fired?" he asked. Me neither. A&E needs the Robertsons more than they need A&E."
Still questions remained as to whos got it right on homosexuality; GLAAD HRC and other progressives" or Phil Robertson and Christianity. To get answers we went straight to the Source: God Author of all truth sovereign Creator of the universe and Maker of mankind.
God said to relax. The issue has been long settled.
All sexual sin adultery fornication bestiality incest and yes the practice of homosexuality is contrary to sound doctrine" He noted unequivocally (1 Timothy 1:10). Guys when I said You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination I meant it" He added (Leviticus 18:22).
The Creator then offered an urgent admonition to GLAAD HRC and others living under both sexual deception and the unrepentant homosexual lifestyle. He warned that unnatural behaviors beget natural consequences: Because of this I gave you over to shameful lusts. Even you ladies exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. In the same way you fellas also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Youve committed shameful acts with other men and have received in yourselves the due penalty for your error" (Romans 1:26-27).
Still being both wholly righteous and merciful beyond measure The Heavenly Father then offered hope for homosexuals as well as for every other sinner on the planet (that would be all of us). He was quick to point out that no one person is better than another and that He loves us all not because of our sins to include the intrinsically disordered" homosexual identity and lifestyle but in spite of them. None is righteous no not one" He said (Romans 3:10).
Show your support of Duck Commander Phil with this brand new bumper sticker!
We are all lost and in need of the Savior He further urged (especially yours truly) saying with specific reference to homosexuality adultery and other forms of sexual immorality: And such were some of you. But you were washed you were sanctified you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by My Spirit" (1 Corinthians 6:11).
As untold thousands likely millions of former homosexuals will attest through the unmatched grace of Christ there can be freedom from all forms of bondage to sin even LGBT" behavior.
Meanwhile since the Duck flap hit Jesus Himself has reportedly reached out to Phil Robertson with a Word of encouragement. He told him to keep fishing for souls and hunting for ducks. He said that Robertson shouldnt sweat the small stuff like the ongoing assault for speaking truth in love.
Phil" He said You will be hated by everyone because of me but if you stand firm to the end you will be saved" (Matthew 10:22).
Oh and by the way" Jesus added: Well done my good and faithful servant."