I Am an Old-Fashioned, All-American Transvestite, Not a Newfangled, Commie “Transgender”

I first discovered the joys of wearing women’s clothes in 1973, when I was 13, by experimenting with some of my sister’s wardrobe. Ever since then, I have been an occasional crossdresser. About 20 years ago, when I was about 40, I started crossdressing in a more serious manner, learning how to perfect the look and going out to public places, ranging from stores to museums to bars. I’m 60 now, and I still enjoy dressing up and going out whenever the mood strikes. But I don’t do it as often as I used to, because it is a helluva lot of work to look good, with the necessary constant dieting to keep my weight down, the full-body shaving and moisturizing, putting on the shapewear (from boobs to waist to butt), doing the makeup, etc, etc. Yeah, it’s a lot of work to be a good-looking woman, and not only for a man like me. Any real woman also has to put a lot of work into her appearance if she wants to look her best. Men generally do not realize that.

With all my experience as a crossdresser, I must say that I have been surprised at how the whole “transgender” thing has become so dominant in American culture in recent years. On one hand, I guess that this cultural development could be interpreted as a good thing, as it has raised public awareness that there are people who do not fit into the conventional bipolar gender system. But on the other hand, it has been harmful in terms of genuine understanding of this complicated issue—because the Left has corrupted the discussion with its political propaganda and lies. The Left has always twisted the truth with its lies—that’s what the Left specializes in—and “transgenderism” is just the latest example.

I would like to use this essay to try to clarify this issue for the average reader who is unfamiliar with it, and, in the process, I would like to expose the lies and corruption of the Left regarding this matter—as well as the corruption of what I call the “transgender industry,” or the “gender-transition military-industrial complex.”

Precise Gender Terminology

The term “transgender” is essentially a meaningless word. All it means is to transcend gender in some way. That could apply to a vast variety of different behaviors, including those in the following list. In this list, I use the more precise older terms, which are now deemed to be politically incorrect by the Left, which likes to obscure understanding in order to spread confusion. I also use the male-oriented definitions of these terms, though they can also apply to females. And it is important to note that there can be much overlap among these various behaviors.

• Crossdresser – a guy who enjoys wearing women’s clothes for recreational fun.
• Transvestite – similar to crossdresser, but transvestite implies naughtier behavior, particularly dressing for sexual arousal and satisfaction.
• Transsexual – a guy who truly is a girl in his brain and who would benefit from hormonal and surgical treatment to change his body to match his brain. Pre-op transsexuals have not yet had surgery. Post-op transsexuals have had surgery.
• Drag queen – a guy who dresses like a girl for entertainment purposes.
• Shemale – usually refers to a pornographic performer with large breast implants and a large male appendage. 

In addition to these behavioral classifications, there are also intersex individuals, who may have abnormal chromosomal/genetic conditions that result in a combination of male and female genitalia. Other than that, these individuals are usually completely healthy and can live normal lives as the gender of their choice.

Those are the main classifications. Most other gender terms used by the media/Left these days are BS. But one modern term that I like is “gender fluid.” Combined with crossdresser/transvestite, that’s how I usually see myself. Some days I feel like a guy (most days), but other days I feel like a girl. And depending on my feelings, I may dress accordingly. I’ve become more or less comfortable with this situation.

One additional point to make: gender identity has little or nothing to do with sexual orientation. Most crossdressers are regular heterosexual guys most of the time, though when they dress up like a girl, they may be more open to bisexual experiences. But when they are not dressed up, its back to strictly hetero behavior. That is me.

You can learn more facts regarding gender in this informative article that I wrote a few years ago: https://www.ajsmuskiewicz.com/downloads/gender-gender-dysphoria-transgender.pdf

Gender-Transition Military-Industrial Complex

When I was younger, I used to think that maybe I wanted to become a real woman. I went to three therapists, two of whom tried to talk me into taking female hormones to stimulate body feminization and getting surgery to replace my testicles and penis with a vagina. The third therapist was equally useless. I was strongly tempted to follow the transitioning advice. Why else would I feel sooo good, so peaceful, so blissful, so wonderfully feminine when I’m wearing women’s clothes—especially sexy dresses, silky pantyhose, high heels, pretty makeup, long wigs, sparkly jewelry, flowery perfume—why else would I feel so good doing these things unless I really was a woman inside? Why not go for it—take the big leap and physically change the sex of my body to match the gender that I felt inside my mind? 

Well, something held me back. I guess it was because although I loved being a woman, I also liked being my regular guy self. I was comfortable as a guy too, though when I felt compelled to be a girl, I had to follow that feeling. It was confusing. Frankly, I still sometimes get confused, and I still sometimes wonder… It’s weird, because when I am a man, I like being a very macho man. And when I’m a girl, I like being a very girlie girl. I sometimes don’t know what’s real and what’s just a temporary feeling. But those “temporary” feelings always seem to come back…. The chronic dichotomy can drive me crazy! But, like I previously indicated, I’m more or less okay with the perpetual conflict now. If that’s who or what I am, that’s the way I have to be. I’ve always related to that line from Kris Kristofferson: “I’m a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction…”

One of the three therapists that I saw—one of the two who urged me to transition physically to female, and one of the best-known therapists in the gender field—really had a great scam going. She talked you into hormones and surgery, she had friends who did the hormones and surgery, and her daughter was a “feminization coach,” teaching you how to walk and talk and otherwise act girlie. It’s like a gender-transition military-industrial complex!

Why I Crossdress

I’m glad that I never followed the transitioning advice of those therapists, because I later came to believe rather strongly that I am not “transgender” in the sense of wanting to change sex or wanting to always live as a woman. Rather, I have concluded that I am basically just a good old-fashioned fetish crossdresser/transvestite. I like to wear women’s clothes—dresses, skirts, lingerie, hosiery, heels, makeup, wigs, etc—because they make me feel good, in a special sort of sensual way that is difficult to explain and probably difficult for you to understand unless you have experienced it yourself. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it?

Crossdressing, for me, is enormous fun, it is sexually arousing and exciting, it is psychologically liberating, it is a form of escapism from depressing reality, it is rebellious against conventional expectations, it might be shocking to people who are stuck in their boring conventionalism, and it might even be a little dangerous to me, adding to the excitement. Looking in the mirror and seeing the reflection of a beautiful woman (at least, in my mind’s eye) is indescribable in the joy it gives me.

In addition—getting into politics—crossdressing in public fits in perfectly with my long-time libertarian/libertine philosophy of life. I should be free to pursue my happiness and to do whatever the hell I want, as long as I’m not hurting anyone. When I dress up to go out these days, I mainly go to one club (Gold Room) where I always feel totally safe and welcomed. It’s a regular real-girl strip club/gentlemen’s club in a western suburb of Chicago. The girls, the house moms, the bartenders, the DJs, the managers, the bouncers, they all treat me just like one of the girls. My name is Jessica. I usually dress sexy, like one of the girls. The girls often give me stripper-type dresses to wear, so I fit in even more. I guess I look pretty good, because sometimes guys proposition me. I’ll leave it to your imagination regarding how I respond to such propositions. Suffice to say, when I am at the club, I live out my female fantasies to the fullest. 

My club behavior is absolutely amazing and astonishing, considering that I am really a 60-year-old man. People usually think that Jessica is about 40. I’m good with makeup. It’s all about the art of illusion. And the pursuit of happiness, freedom, and liberty knows no bounds of age, gender, or anything else.

What I Know From My Experience

So, I enjoy my life as a crossdresser/transvestite whenever I feel like crossdressing. But I do it on my own terms—not according to some trendy “transgender” agenda pushed by the Marxist Left. In fact, I have a lot of “insider” knowledge about the phony-baloney “transgender movement” as represented by the Left (mass media, progressive politicians, education establishment, etc). Most of what they say about the issue is BS. Before I settled on that strip club for my regular hangout, I used to go to gay bars (though I’m not gay), tranny clubs, and other places where I met many people from the LGBTQ “community.” I met a lot of real people, I did a lot of my own research, and I learned a lot of stuff that you will never hear from the mass media. I do not trust reported “statistics” from the corrupt science/medical establishment, so I will not cite any in the following text. But I do know generalities based on my own experience, so that is what I discuss here. (A few years ago, I wrote about the scarcity of scientific knowledge about “transgenderism”: https://geneticliteracyproject.org/2019/01/25/viewpoint-why-we-need-to-know-more-about-transgenderism-and-genetics/).

Most guys who crossdress do not really want to become women, and they are not really in “the wrong body.” They mainly just want to have some sexy erotic fun (like me). However, a lot of men—and women—have become confused by the massive amount of lies and propaganda about “transgenderism.” And they may end up making drastic changes to their bodies that they later deeply regret, as the author J.K. Rowling recently pointed out (for which she was harshly condemned by the Leftist fascists, who seek to stifle free speech). It is true that a large percentage of individuals who undergo sex reassignment surgery—also called gender reassignment surgery and commonly known as sex change—later regret it. Oh well, too late! Such unfortunate individuals make those life-destroying changes to their bodies with encouragement from the gender-transition military-industrial complex (which I referred to earlier). Lots of people make money off of this shit!

There is indeed a small percentage of real transsexuals (the politically incorrect term that refers to people who truly do belong as the opposite sex and would benefit from gender reassignment). Those people should go through many years of honest therapy (which is increasingly hard to find these days) and gradual gender transition before leaping into surgical sex change. But even when they do get surgical sex change, they can never truly be the other sex. They can be only an imperfect imitation of the other sex. One transsexual woman told me that she knows that despite receiving regular doses of female hormones and getting complete sex-change surgery, she will always be a “transwoman,” not a real woman. She admitted that she can never experience the types of experiences that real women have had in their lives. So, she can never know what it’s like to be a real woman.

When do you ever hear such refreshing honesty from our lying media? Never! The lies are especially dangerous for kids, who are being thoroughly confused about their gender these days by the Leftist indoctrination in schools. I used to do interviews and write articles for a couple LGBTQ publications in the Chicago area, but I had to quit those jobs because of serious political disagreements with the fascist editors, who were interested only in pushing their Marxist agenda of total societal chaos. I recall one interview I did with a psychologist who was proud of how his efforts were being successful in getting more pre-pubescent children to start hormonal and surgical “treatment” to change their physical sex. I was stunned by the interview, but the publication thought it was very cool. Let’s get kids to change their sex before they even know what “sex,” “gender,” or “sexuality” are! What could possibly be cooler than that!

Damn, I’m 60 years old, and I still sometimes am unsure regarding whether I want to be a man or a woman. And this shrink is bragging about getting kids to change their sex before they even reach puberty? Well, that is the typical Left for you. Destroy the basic foundations of society, civilization, and logical thought, and they win.

Successful Transsexuals

Needless to say, if a person does start hormonal and surgical transition before puberty, the results are much more successful than if the person waits until after puberty. That’s obviously because the hormone explosion of puberty changes the body in ways that are very hard to reverse. I personally know a transsexual woman who started hormone therapy before puberty, and then she subsequently got every kind of cosmetic surgery you can imagine (breasts, butt, hips, cheeks, lips, nose, eyes, etc), and she is now one of the most stunningly gorgeous and sexy women I have ever seen. She’s about 30 now. Seemingly the perfect sexy blonde woman. However, she has kept her male genitalia, because it is crucial to her livelihood as a tranny escort/prostitute. Those special ladies are extremely popular with certain guys, and they can make a huge amount of money for their services. That’s another aspect of “transgenderism” that the media likes to ignore—the sex-worker aspect of it, which is very common.

Needless to say, not all trannies are hookers. There are a lot of famous transsexuals who have achieved mainstream success in fashion, beauty pageants, acting, and other glamorous fields (as well as some less glamorous fields). I greatly admire these lovely ladies for having the courage to do what they did and for having either the know-how or the luck to achieve amazingly beautiful results. These special beauties include Jenna Talackova, Ticiane Narciso, Isabella Santiago, Angela Ponce, Valentina Sampaio, Andreja Pejic, and Caroline Cossey. Google those names to take your breath away with beauty. As an example, check out Jenna here: https://www.pinterest.com/tannefox/jenna-talackova/. You go girl!!!

Common Sense

I have used a lot of words in this essay to try to set the record straight regarding “transgenderism.” I think it is worth the effort—and worth exposing my own “secrets” (which really aren’t secrets, because most people who know me already know about “Jessica”)—because America is getting buried in BS about this issue these days. Every day, we hear new lies about “transgender” this and “transgender” that…. But that term doesn’t mean anything, because the Left, which monopolizes American communication, has twisted it like they do with all other words. The lies need to stop, because lives are getting destroyed and people are getting terribly confused by the propaganda. Society needs to hear the truth on this controversial topic, but the truth is almost impossible to find because the “science” and “statistics” have become corrupted (as in so many other fields of research these days).

But I know the truth from personal experience. I’ve done my own research. The old-fashioned terms of crossdresser, transvestite, and transsexual are much more accurate than “transgender.” And there is nothing wrong with a guy wanting to dress like a girl for personal enjoyment. But if that guy wants to go out somewhere, to use the ladies’ restroom, or to do anything else on someone else’s property, he should ask people at the business first, to make sure it is acceptable to the owners or managers. That way, he is not forcing himself into situations where he won’t be welcomed. That’s what I always used to do when I went out to new places, before I settled on going to just that one club, where I know I am always welcomed and where I know I will always have a great time. 

What I found in those earlier experiences was that I was usually welcomed in whatever establishment I visited, as long as I was not pushy about anything.  Some places made me use the men’s room, other places let me use the ladies’ room. I was okay either way. In the men’s room, I often got surprised second looks (as if the guys thought maybe they were in the wrong room when they saw me), and in the ladies’ room, I got a couple complaints about my presence. But things were manageable in either case by discussing the issue with the business. Whatever the business wanted, I respected. So it was no big deal.

My experiences have demonstrated that we don’t need more laws from the government to protect trannies. We just need more common sense and personal respect in our social interactions.

Restrooms and Sports

Speaking of restrooms, the strip club where I usually go had an interesting development over the past year. Previously, they always made me use the men’s room. Within the past year, they started letting me use the ladies’ room. I’m not sure why they changed their policy. Maybe it was pressure from the “transgender movement.” Maybe it had something to do with the pandemic. I don’t know. But I like using the ladies’ room, because I’m usually the only “lady” in there. Most customers at the club are men, and the dancers have their own restroom. So there are no other girls but me taking selfies in the big mirrors! (Like those in the accompanying photo from June 28, 2021.) And by using the girls’ room, I avoid the uncomfortable feelings that I sometimes used to get in the busy guys’ room. I suppose that is social progress!

So, that’s how I feel about the tranny restroom issue. Now here’s my opinion on another tranny issue in the news: Biological men should not be allowed to compete in women’s sports! That is cheating, and that is more Leftist insanity! Please try to return to common sense, people!!!

The Bible?

Now let me briefly address possible arguments against crossdressing from the Right. This should not take long. First, I don’t care what the Bible says about it, because I do not accept the mythological stories in that ancient text as my truth. Second, I don’t think that my behavior is corrupting anyone, because I do not do it anywhere I am not welcomed, and I do not intentionally hurt anyone with it. But if you are too weak or ignorant to deal with it, that’s your own problem. Third, as I said before, don’t knock it ‘til you try it… you might discover a whole new world of pleasure yourself! Are there any other objections? Do you not support my right to individual freedom, liberty, pursuit of happiness, and self-expression? Do you want to call me nasty names? Feel free to leave a comment below, or email me at: [email protected].

I’m a Lumberjack and I’m Okay

In summary, I don’t want to physically become a woman. But I enjoy dressing up and acting like a woman now and then, and I have fun going out like a girl to where I am welcomed. Nobody gets hurt. And I am enjoying my constitutionally protected freedoms as an American. That is the simple basic truth of my crossdressing. And I don’t need or want the Marxist Left to define me or my behavior with their lies about “transgenderism.”

Finally, I want to suggest that people loosen up about this issue. It’s just human sexuality, not nuclear war! And it’s healthy to laugh about crossdressing, like we used to do with Monty Python’s Flying Circus back in the early 70s, before everyone got their pantyhose twisted up in a tight wad about it. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfRdur8GLBM

To see more pics of lumberjack Jessica enjoying her all-American freedoms, check out https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZLFMP37Io

I am free.  Are you?
Happy Independence Day!






 
Jessica in mirror at Gold Room by A. J. Smuskiewicz is licensed under