What Obama Meant to Say in His DNC Speech

 

A parody of Obama’s speech to the Democratic National Convention.

Fellow Americans and community organizers,

 

So glad to see all of you people here tonight! I apologize for moving the location inside, unfortunately the turnout was drastically lower than we expected, so a smaller venue became necessary in order not to make the convention look like a failure.

 

How do you like all the change since I became president? Increasing taxes and spending is not working and we are in a depression. Real unemployment is around 24% which is Great Depression era levels. People are losing their homes at an alarming rate. However, keep this in mind: even though it is clear that throwing more money at the problems doesn’t work, it does buy votes.

 

We’ve seen what has happened in Europe, as socialism has destroyed those countries’ economies. Trying to combine all the European countries into one massive economy based on the euro, like some kind of one world government, is failing. Yet we are going to continue going in that direction because it makes people feel better to think that the government will take care of them.

 

I had two years when I first entered office to get things accomplished with a Democrat-controlled Congress. My main accomplishment has been Obamacare. Obamacare is the biggest tax increase in our nation’s history, and includes 18 tax hikes. I have increased your taxes in order to allow government to take care of you. I also pledge to you that I will eventually eliminate the Bush era middle class tax cuts. If we can bring in extra taxes from the middle class, the government will have more money to spend on you, your family, your neighbors and friends. We must stop the greedy corporations from taking money that belongs in your pocket. That is why I am announcing a new regulation for the first time tonight that will ban corporate profits.


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