BASED ON MY RESEARCH, HERE ARE SOME TIMELY STOCK TIPS FOR 'THE REST OF US'

INVEST, OR DON’T INVEST, BUT STILL BE HAPPY

And a happy “Can Things Get Any Worse In The World Day” to all you readers tonight.

Tonight, I’d like to put on my investor adviser hat (https://twitter.com/MurraySoupcoff) and talk about what is probably the second most interesting topic after Judge Jeanine Pirro’s Saturday night suggestion that Barack Obama should be IMPEACHED (http://beforeitsnews.com/obama/2014/05/judge-jeanine-unleashed-impeach-obama-2463070.html)

Now there’s one judge who makes sense!

Anyway, where was I before I referenced impeaching America’s community-organizer-in-chief?

Oh yes … what I hope to do, tonight, is to offer some timely investment advice for all of us, based on some pretty extensive research I’ve recently done for my investment newsletter:

In my opinion, U.S. stock indices appear to be “rangebound” – regularly rising & then falling yet again … enough to make any investor sea sick…

So per usual, I’ve been looking for reliable income & growth stocks to allow any non-professional investor to sleep at night through these market vacillations.

I’ve done my due diligence; and now here’s my PERSONAL choices (with, of course, NO guarantees — except that I’ve done my very best to find the best selections for myself & “Intellectual Conservative” readers).

And so, in no order of priority, here I go:
And please note that  because I’m an energy stock-sector enthusiast, many of my choices are meant to benefit from current SOARING U.S. & European oil & natural gas prices.

ENERGY STOCK BONANZA

And now here’s my first selection, in this category, (drum roll please):

ENERGY TRANSFER PARTNERS MLP ($ETP), yielding 6.58% annually

This dividend monster (a Master Limited Partnership) recently reported adjusted earnings of $1.21 billion, an increase of $250 million from the same period last year (excellent results, in my opinion)

Not only that, but revenues (incoming cash), from continuing operations, were $467 million (again a pretty good haul, in my opinion).

And that’s an increase of $65 million from last year (also very impressive).

AND the “distributable cash flow” (annual dividend payments) totaled $629 million, up $253 million from 2013.

So my take on this potential energy-related income investment?

To me, this MLP looks like a reliable generator of tasty cash dividends (6.58% annually) for the next couple of years.

Try it; I think you’ll like it!

ANOTHER DRUM ROLL PLEASE

And now to energy choice #2 …

And, in this case, I’m referring to one of my very favorite oil/gas shale energy companies:

Please step up to the podium, ENERPLUS CORPORATION ($ERF; $ERF.CA), yielding 4.39% annually.

This company’s capable management has already predicted that its 2014 production, and net profits, will likely come in at the HIGH END of management’s previous forecast.

And that’s because of soaring production & revenues from its extensive Marcellus (shale) land holdingsrich in both oil & natural gas deposits.

And why is that factoid important?

Well, because I expect today’s record prices for oil & natural gas to continue until at least 2018.

And hence, Enerplus — in my opinion — is a safe and (likely) profitable energy investment for the next several years.

TIME TO LOOK AT ONE OF THE BIG BOYS OF THE ENERGY INDUSTRY

And now let forget about all of the previous energy-company shrimps.

Instead, let’s look at one of the biggest of the biggest global energy giants:

Please step up to the plate, KINDER MORGAN ENERGY ($KMP), yielding 5.4% annually.

The good news is that KMP plans to invest $671 million to expand its VERY PROFITABLE Cortez pipeline, which transports carbon dioxide from Colorado to New Mexico, for use in enhanced oil-recovery projects.

Not only that, but management recently also announced excellent first-quarter results.

In particular, current net income totaled $12.1 million ($0.79 per diluted share), compared to $14 million ($0.91) in 2013.

Translation: a very nice bounce in incoming cash!

And KMP’s company’s direct written premiums increased 3.8% for the quarter.

To be honest, I don’t understand a word of the preceding energy-industry jargon (about “direct written premiums”) – except that it’s evidently a very good thing.

MY CONCLUSION ABOUT KINDER MORGAN

Based on all of the above indicators, here’s my take on Kinder Morgan Energy:

In my prejudiced opinion, this is another reliable energy-stock generator of HEALTHY DIVIDENDS (5.4% annually) … and also a stock-market investment with great future CAPITAL-GAINS (PROFITS) too (when you choose to sell it in the future).

HOW ABOUT SOME VARIETY HERE … AFTER ALL, ACCORDING TO PROGRESSIVE LIBERALS, DIVERSITY IS THE NAME OF THE GAME

But now for some variety, let’s look at few non-energy choices:

So, first, let’s go shopping and peruse: SUPER VALU ($SVU), currently paying NO dividend.

And be advised that Super Valu recently pleased retail analysts with its results for its fiscal fourth quarter:

For example, net sales hit $3.95 billion; and net earnings came in at $26 million – both very impressive numbers.

And more debt was reduced through the sell-off of some of Super Valu’s redundant assets.

So my opinion regarding Super Valu as an investment?

Just that the preceding good news indicates that this is a retail stock with a great future, with regard to capital gains (although it pays NO annual dividend).

YOU JUST CAN’T GO WRONG WITH THE GENERAL (IN THIS CASE GENERAL ELECTRIC)

And let’s also look at one of the best-branded retail stocks on U.S. markets:

After all, who wouldn’t recognize the familiar GE (General Electric) logo?

So let’s open the proverbial investment refrigerator door, and take a look:

And another really, really big drum roll is justified for this international investment giant … GENERAL ELECTRIC COMPANY ($GE), yielding 3.24% annually.

This is a diversified global giant for which there seems to be no investment sector in which it currently doesn’t “dabble”.

And in that regard, GE has just announced a partnership between its healthcare division and Tesla Engineering:
The two companies will collaborate on the development of a new whole-body magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanner, as well as on additional other profitable hi-tek projects.

Hence, in my opinion, this another excellent bet on capital gains (profits) for the next several years — accompanied by a sustainable 3.4% annual dividend payout.

And by “a sustainable annual dividend”, I mean that GE rakes in so much cash annually, it will have no problem paying its dividend — regardless of normal global economic fluctuations.

RETAIL BANKING FOR FUN & PROFIT

And finally let’s move to the now profitable retail banking sector…

And why are retail banks so profitable lately?

Because the “Fed” (now under the capable management of Janet Yellin) continues to keep interest rates historically low (because of America’s anemic GDP – thanks Barack!)

All of which means near irresistible low rates for customers for loans and mortgages.

And my recommendation in this sector?

Buy BRIDGE BANCORP, INC. ($BDGE), yielding 3.8%.

Bridge Bancorp, Inc. is a bank holding company for The Bridgehampton National Bank (the Bank). And this banking network operates 20 profitable branches on eastern Long Island.

Another recipe, in my opinion, for future capital gains, combined with a generous sustainable dividend.

Phew! Well, it’s good to get all of the preceding investment “advice” off my chest.

But truth be told, even I find it boring – in comparison to Judge Jeanine’s suggestion that Barack Obama should be IMPEACHED.

WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO HEAR WHAT I THINK ABOUT THE JUDGE’S SUGGESTION?

My personal thoughts on that suggestion?

Vote Republican in November, and let the impeachment proceedings begin!

[Murray Soupcoff is editor and co-author of “Good Buy Canada” and author of “Canada 1984”.

He was a founding member (and senior partner) of Ian Sone & Associates Ltd — Canada’s first independent social-research company specializing in evaluations of federal, provincial & municipal government projects in Canada.

He is also the publisher of the FREE “Soupcoff Report” investment newsletter, whose distribution is partly subsidized by paid subscriptions from former research clients.

You can e-mail Murray Soupcoff at: murraysoupcoff@rogers.com]

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